Sunday, January 15, 2006

That's MRS. Christie To You!

Welcome to the club, Nick


What does Indianapolis Colts Cornerback Nick Harper have in common with Chuck Finley and Irving Fryar?

Well, no matter how manly the three of them are on the athletic field, they all can't defend themselves off the field against their wives. Harper is questionable for today's game against the Steelers after getting stabbed in the knee by his wife yesterday.

Whether or not Harper suits up today, I think this incident tarnishes his credibility on the field. Can you see the Steelers being afraid to throw at this guy? Hines Ward must be licking his chops. Oh well, maybe Nick can seek advice from the guy pictured above.

56 Comments:

At 11:19 AM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Was that the Pittsburgh Steelers who just marched down the field and scored on their first drive?

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Nice jinx there, Enberg.

 
At 11:33 AM, Blogger Alex said...

No kidding. I turned the game on right as he was waxing poetic about Roethlissomething's great start. Funny, I thought Joe Buck was calling the afternoon game.

P.S. Let's turn this thread into an ongoing discussion about the game. Hopefully Fairweather Kimmis can grace us with his presence at some point.

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger Alex said...

Enough with the jinxes already Enberg. "Hines Ward catches the ball, he could score!" (Meanwhile, Hines is stumbling on his feet 40 yards away from his end zone). He's starting to resemble Jim Ross, with his "this is over...by god, how did Stone Cold kick out!" routine.

 
At 11:48 AM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

I can just hear Kimmis giggling, and it enrages me. Frankly, I hate both these teams. I invited Kevin over today, and he did not return my message. That is not surprising, but for once I am happy he didn't call me back. Having to endure his feminine cackling would have pushed me over the edge of sanity.

I must admit that I love seeing Manning getting sacked. But do I really want to hear more from Joey Porter?

 
At 11:49 AM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

3 possessions, 3 punts. I guess having four weeks off isn't such a great idea.

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Man, Cory Simon is HUGE. I don't remember him being that large in Philly. Could it be the white pants?

 
At 11:53 AM, Blogger Alex said...

Did you see that shot of the Steelers fans with the Joker hats? Is that a team you really want to associate yourself with?

Kevin and his brother are certainly having a love-in over the phone, which will end in heartbreak when the Colts mount a rally in the second half.

I don't care for Joey Porter. He has about as much game as Joey Potter at this point.

 
At 11:55 AM, Blogger Alex said...

Simon looks like he's put on about 40 pounds in the off-season. I had assumed he was just out of shape at the start of the year, and if that was true he certainly hasn't played himself into shape over the past four months.

The other possibility is that Ted Washington ate him and is assuming his identity to keep his NFL career alive.

 
At 12:01 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Poor officiating, that's two plays in the last series where the Colts should have been whistled for interference.

 
At 12:03 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

The more I watch this game, the more I want to cheer for the Steelers. I simply can't ignore the fact that I hate Peyton Manning way more than I hate Kimmis. Don't get me wrong, Kimmis' fairweather Rams fan act annoys the hell out of me, but the sheer pleasure of seeing the Peyton Manning face overrides all. Peyton is proving once again that he can't win the big game. That one play, where he underthrew to Wayne, was typical Manning. He had time, but he was rattled and scared of taking the hit. A winner would have stepped into the throw and taken the hit. Not Peyton. If it doesn't fit into his perfect system, he can't cope.

 
At 12:08 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Though I would like to see them do well, if only for Tony Dungy's sake, I too, have to confess that I am enjoying the Colts struggles.

As for the Kimmis factor, I have a three time zone buffer, so I don't have to deal with the fairweather fan act. Plus, it would be nice to see a Steelers-Bears Super Bowl, as it might be the thing to finally break Kevin and Greg up.

 
At 12:17 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Greg seems to have disappeared. I hope he isn't mad that I hooked him and Kevin up. To be fair, I would be furious. I mean, Kevin is from Missouri. East St. Louis, in fact. I know I wouldn't want to be associated with a St. Lunatic.

Now Indy is rounding into shape. This could be a close game. Pittsburgh needs to keep going back to Miller, who looks exactly like Brian Urlacher.

 
At 12:20 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

"You're at home for Gods sake."
-Dan Dierdorf

Wow. Did he just say that? Awesome.

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger Alex said...

I missed that comment.

 
At 12:36 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

He was talking about Tarik Glenn taking another penalty.

 
At 12:54 PM, Blogger Alex said...

"We signed up for a clinic but it's the visiting professor teaching the class right now."

I've had enough cliches already. Good thing Madden's not in on this game.

 
At 12:54 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

That looked like an interception to me.

Ooh, it's the "visiting professor that is teaching the class right now." Dierdorf is on fire.

 
At 1:04 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Dierdorf has certainly improved since his Monday Night Football days, but there are still too many cliches.

Also, is Armen Ketayan the only white, male sideline reporter in the game? He's like the Jason Sehorn of the broadcasting industry (minus the talent).

 
At 1:15 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Did you know that it was Ketayan who wrote the famous Edmonton Oilers/Drugs story for Sports Illustrated in the early 80's?

The wheels on the bus go round and round.

I can't believe this is happening.

 
At 1:15 PM, Blogger Alex said...

I did not.

And I'm stunned. The Colts look out of it, and you can almost hear the fans whispering to each other "should we leave now before traffic on the Interstate gets busy?"

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger Alex said...

The one thing I do love about Manning is how he, from time to time, waves off the punt team and unilaterally decides that the Colts are going for it on 4th down. It's like in baseball when the starting pitcher refuses to come out of the game. Peyton's the only Quarterback I can recall doing this. Awesome.

 
At 1:22 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

That 4th down call was HUGE. If they win, it will be what every one talks about. He is lucky he pulled it off. Dungy did NOT look happy.

 
At 1:23 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Oh, and a second thing about Peyton. Between the time he sang "Rocky Top" (Tennessee's FIght Song) during the opening of a Tennessee-Auburn game on CBS, and the Monday Night game where he said "Footloose by Kenny Loggins best describes me), he was probably the Unintentional Comedy Champion of 2005.

 
At 1:25 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Finally, a bad play on defense by the Steelers. A couple of missed tackles and bad angles by their defenders on that touchdown throw.

 
At 1:35 PM, Blogger Alex said...

What the heck was with that non-call? The officiating this weekend is terrible.

 
At 1:35 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Wow. Are the Steelers really going for it? Talk about bravado. This is turning out to be a great game.

Are yous serious? What an awful missed call.

 
At 1:37 PM, Blogger Alex said...

I thought they gave Bettis a spot on 3rd down, btw.

I also can't believe they actually converted that QB sneak, even after the Bus' push.

Gutsy call by Cowher, which I applaud. Go for the jugular.

 
At 1:38 PM, Blogger Alex said...

That last comment should say "I thought they gave Bettis a bad spot"

 
At 1:46 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

They should have passed the ball at least once. Stupid play-calling. Total stubborness. Has Marty Schottenheimer taken over Cowher's mind?

 
At 1:52 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Rolling over a couple of times is a "football move"? Are you kidding me? The stupidest expression in professional sports, to be sure.

Why wouldn't Polamalu just hold on to the ball? No, he has to hot dog it, thereby causing the "fumble" that will now be challenged. Moron.

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger Alex said...

I thought it was a smart move by Polamalu trying to get on his feet and run with the ball. That he happened to knock it out by accident is unfortunate. If this stands, this game is O-V-E-R.

 
At 1:56 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Whoa! That was a terrible call imo. What is with the officials? There's got to be a way for Johnny Greer and Ed Hochuli to call every game.

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

THAT IS AN AWFUL CALL!!! AWFUL.

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Wow. Now they are marching down the field. Awful call.

Did Dierdorf just say, "now the Colts are just playing instead of thinking"? Did he go to Joe Morgan university with Joey Porter? Why are athletes so proud of being stupid?

That call was costly, as was Cowher's stupid play-calling.

Hey, say "high-octane" one more time. We haven't heard that one before. Don't these guys have thesaurus'?

 
At 2:01 PM, Blogger Alex said...

We should have seen it coming. It seems that every time someone benefits from a controversial/bad call, they end up converting on offense. If the Colts come back and win this thing, there's going to be a proverbial shitstorm.

 
At 2:01 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

That catch by Stately Wayne Manor for the two-point conversion was sick.

 
At 2:04 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

I liked seeing Vanderjagt sitting with Manning. What was he telling him, exactly?

 
At 2:06 PM, Blogger Alex said...

The Colts are coming back. What a chokejob by the Steelers. Marty Schottenheimer would be proud.

 
At 2:08 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Awful. Cowher is going to cost his team the game. Why he would go for it on 4th down one series, and then just run the ball over and over again is beyond me.

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

You are beating the Colts because of your passing game. So you decide the best way to win is to start running. Genius. Absolutely genius.

Of course, Cowher's relapse would be irrelevant if the refs had made the right call on the Polamalu interception.

 
At 2:12 PM, Blogger Alex said...

It wasn't a bad idea to try and kill some clock, but he was way too conservative.

On the other hand, the defensive playcalling this last series was great.

 
At 2:12 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Porter with the sack. Great. He must not have been thinking when he did that.

 
At 2:13 PM, Blogger Alex said...

OH...MY...GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 2:15 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Porter again. Game over.

I wonder if Kevin made it to the end, or if he had a heart attack after the Colts last score.

Roethlisberger looks like Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds.

 
At 2:16 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

HOLY FUCK!

Okay, now Kevin has passed out.

Harper. Harper. Harper.

Get used to the name, Kevin. It will haunt you agin in a week.

 
At 2:16 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Cowher looks like he's going to puke. Bad running by Bettis on that play, he went right at the Linebacker instead of cutting inside.

Look at the faces on the Steelers sidelines. They're done, even if they can hold the Colts to a Field Goal here.

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Poor Jerome. I love the bus. If he has to retire on this game, it will just suck.

 
At 2:18 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Good non-call. I thought Wayne was gonna catch it, though.

 
At 2:18 PM, Blogger Alex said...

And how about the pick that almost was on 3rd down? How many times could the Steelers have put this one away?

 
At 2:19 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Oh the irony if Vanderjagt misses this kick.

Oh yeah. Freeze the kicker. Another stupid NFL obsession.

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger Alex said...

WOW

WOW
WOW
WOW
WOW
WOW

WOW

That wasn't even close. However, I'm not saying this is over until there are zeros on the clock. The last few minutes have just been surreal.

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger Alex said...

I just talked to Kimmis. He's alive and doing well, though the Bettis fumble might have taken a few years off of his life.

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Insane game. Kevin better go change his diaper before the next one starts.

Let's move on to the next post, Abboud.

 
At 2:26 PM, Blogger Alex said...

I'm still watching the post-game. PLEASE Boomer, make another comment about how Peyton can't win the big game, just like Dan Marino. That was the highlight of last year's playoffs.

 

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