Monday, April 10, 2006

Oh, Henry!

I just received an invite to ask Red Sox owner John Henry questions on Wednesday. So far, these are the possible queries I have come up with:

1) Can you personally guarantee me that Johnathan Papelbon will remain the Red Sox closer for the rest of the season?

2) When Dale Sveum left to manage the Brewers, did you think of replacing him with a monkey?

3) Do you play in a Rotesserie Leagiue? If so, how many of your own players do you have on your team?

4) On a scale of 1-10, 1 being old man flaccid and 10 being wicked pisser, how happy do you get when you see Papi come up to the plate?

5) Is Manny really just being Manny?

6) Do you realize how badly you fucked over Expos fans?

7) If Roger Clemens returns to Boston, will you ban Bill Simmons from Fenway for fear of him shivving the Rocket?

8) Do you ever have these wet dreams where the McCourts buy the Yankees? Cuz, I kinda do.

Feel free to let me know if you have any more.


Post a Comment

<< Home