Monday, June 12, 2006

Cue Up The Brass Bonanza

I am too distraught to write much, but I'll give er' the old college try:

• I watched the game on NBC again, and was again pleased by the coverage. My only complaint was that they kept putting on an advisory note telling people in Spokane (the NBC feed we get in Edmonton) that Everybody Loves Raymond would be on after the game. Is hockey so unpopular in the U.S.--even in a region with the Spokane Chiefs--that a repeat of a show that ended a year ago is given such powerful credence?

• The powerplay cost us this game. Again. Again. Again. But I'll give Carolina credit. They have clearly watched the Oilers powerplay at work, and figured out how to defeat it. I would give up three Ales Hemsky's for one Peter Nedved right now. Not a single Oiler knows how to do anything other than pass the puck to the point.

• I wish MacT would pull a Mike Keenan on Ales Hemsky and bench him for prolonged periods of time. I counted at least four times--before I passed out from oxygen deprivation--where Hemsky had a good scoring chance from the slot and instead made a pass that ended up going the other way. And he has obviously rubbed off on Shawn Horcoff, who did the exact same thing on a play in the 1st period. John Davidson remarked that Hemsky reminds him of a young Alexei Kovalev, and I couldn't agree more. Too much of an emphasis on making the perfect play with a fancy pass, rather than just shooting. When Kovalev was younger, he used to take really long shifts on the ice. Keenan cured him of that by refusing to let him come off the ice. MacT should do something similar, like maybe reopening that cut on Hemsky's neck with a rusty blade every time he doesn't shoot the puck, or forcing him to dry hump with a mustached Todd Harvey. Anything, so long as he gets the message.

• We blew chunks again in the 2nd period. Totally outhit, outplayed, outhustled, outmojoed...everything. If it wasn't for Jussi, this game would have been over at the 30 minute mark. But can everyone stop raving about Cam Ward, please? Did he make a single tough save all night? Rave about Carolina's defence all you want--five plumbers and an aging stalwart (Wesley) being held together by duck tape and sheer will-- but enough with the Ward circle-jerk.

• The Chris Pronger turnover that led to the second Carolina goal was mind-numbingly stupid. Instead of putting it up the left board or flipping it high in the air, he tried a pass across the center of the rink. Awful. I haven't felt that depleted since a marathon masturbation session in 1994 that left me dehydrated and permanently turned off by Candice Bergen.

Cosh liveblogged the game, and does a fine job breaking it down. I do take issue with a comment he made in his Game Three analysis, however. It made me want to punch him in the uterus for saying it. In that post, Cosh stated, "Pronger is a Hall of Famer no matter what happens; so, probably, is Brind'Amour." Um, excuse me? Rod Brind'Amour is a Hall of Famer? In what league? Is it one that rewards guys for having faceoff prowess, low body fat, Joe Camel's vagina nose and a wife who cheats on you with Eric Lindros? Because then yes, Brind'Amour is a shoo-in. But if it is one that rewards a player for being an elite on-ice performer for the length of his career, then the answer should surely be be in the negative. The guy only reached the 80 point plateau three times in his career. He made the All-Star roster once. In 2003-2004, he scored 38 points. Maybe Cosh was still hopped up on quaaludes from his stomach virus, or maybe he was trying to direct some bad karma Brind'Amour's way. I don't know. But I do know that if Joe Camel makes it into the Hockey Hall of Fame, the bar on hockey excellence has fallen very far indeed.

• Before Oilers games this year, a few lines from the Nina Simone song "Feeling Good" have been played, followed by "Pump It" by the Black Eyed Peas. Well, I ain't feeling too good right now. If someone had told me two months ago that the Edmonton Oilers would end up in the Stanley Cup Finals, I would have been ecstatic. I would have been ecstatic if they had told me two months ago that the Whalers/Canes would win the Stanley Cup. Yet now neither scenario pleases me. I never expected the Canes and Oilers to be facing each other for all the marbles, and I sure as hell ain't happy now about the Oilers being one loss away from Finals elimination. Rather than being pleased as plums with both teams, I am now on the brink of being heart-broken by both. The Canes have been the better team, and will now win the Stanley Cup, but I couldn't be unhappier about it. All I can do is sigh.


At 10:36 PM, Blogger Earl Sleek said...

I'll sympathize a bit. Up til 2003, the Devils were my 'other' team. It is a bitter joy to swallow when that dream scenario stabs you in the throat.

At 11:32 PM, Blogger andy grabia said...

No shit. I doubt I'll ever see the Canes in a positive light again. Then again, that may also apply to the Oilers after this series.

At 2:20 AM, Blogger mike w said...

>I haven't felt that depleted since a marathon masturbation session in 1994 that left me dehydrated and permanently turned off by Candice Bergen.

Good lord!

At 9:07 AM, Blogger Kirks said...

Agreed, the Oilers did not play well. How they can expect to score on a powerplay like that is beyond me.

I enjoyed the NBC feed last night as well. I will never watch another game called by the two old men. Guess who was calling the classic game on Saturday night between the Bruins and Oilers in '88? You guessed it.... our friend Bob Cole!!

Andy, I thought you would mention something about the missed calls last night. You aren't in the mood to rag on the refs?

At 9:17 AM, Blogger Black Dog said...

I watched some of the classic game as well - Bob and Harry were very good.

Last night Bob gave the wrong startign lineup for the Oilers as they dropped the puck.

It was kind of sad.

At 10:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The way the oilers PP please do not call any more penalties. But I thought the Ref's last night were inconsistent. They blow the whistle like cheap hookers in the back alleys of Seattle in the 1st. By the third all sorts of things were let go. It really did screw up the rhythm of the game.
Hmm NBC HD feed not available so I stuck with the 2 senile guys... man do they get rolled into the bldg.

At 11:55 AM, Blogger Alex said...

Remember the days when it was said that you needed an elite, or at least an all-star goalie to win the Cup? Now that we're on the verge of having Cam Ward and Nikolai Khabibulin in the record books as the two most recent Cup winning-keepers, that theory is sure taking a beating.

Of all the starting goaltenders who have won a Cup in the past twenty five years (the rest of the list is comprised of Billy Smith, Andy Moog, Grant Fuhr, Patrick Roy, Mike Vernon, Bill Ranford, Tom Barrasso, Mike Richter, Martin Brodeur, and Ed Belfour), is there one who you wouldn't consider dramatically better than Ward or Khabibulin? I understand that Ward is a rookie, but he hasn't been spectacular at any point this season.

At 11:57 AM, Blogger Alex said...

As for the actual game, it's all been said. The power play is abysmal. I wish they would have called Robbie Schremph up; if nothing else, he would probably shoot the puck, which would make him the best member of the power play unit.

At 1:55 PM, Blogger andy grabia said...

Schremp is up, and around. They just haven't dressed him. An interesting point, really. Is it time to dress him?

At 5:50 PM, Blogger The Acid Queen said...

and a wife who cheats on you with Eric Lindros?

Can we stop rehashing this dumbass rumor? Seriously.

At 5:56 PM, Blogger andy grabia said...

It's not a rumour. It is LEGEND. Or have one of your imaginary friends in the Flyers locker room told you differently? I believe there is a companion Legend here in Edmonton concerning Tommy Salo.

At 10:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Except that legend seems to accompany many trades (Mathieu Schneider, for example, was reported by Frank Magazine as having being traded from Montreal 'after high-sticking the wife of Patrick Roy').

At 5:35 PM, Blogger andy grabia said...

"High Sticking." I like that! I may have to use that at a later date. Or ON a later date.


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