Monday, September 19, 2005

Monday Night Football

One of the great things about Monday Night Football, and there are many, is the player introductions at the beginning of the game. Every week, there is a video of the starters from each team giving their name, and the college football program they attended. Not only does this highlight for the uninitiated the utter importance of college football to the American public but it also results in some hilarious sports moments. This is because many players take the opportunity to exaggerate their school programs and own talents with the bravado and swagger of professional wrestlers. As such, every week on Monday Night Football, you will hear exaltations like:

"Tory 'Big Game' Holt, North Carolina State";

"Derrick Brooks, School of Hard Knocks";

"Muhsin Muhammad, Spartan Dogs of Michigan State";

"Warren Sapp, National Champions, University of Miami Hurricanes"; and

"LeCharles Bentley, THE University of Ohio"

Kimmis, Abboud and I have had great fun with these names over the years, so much so that we regularly hail Kevin with "Kevin, Kimmis, Left Guard, THE Dalhousie University." Tonight, however, I had the pleasure of experiencing a new introduction, and it has left me giddy with glee. Watching the New York Football Giants play the New Orleans Saints, I heard the following:

"Joe Horn, Canadian Football League".

You can imagine my surprise at hearing one of the NFL's premier wide receivers mention Canada's own football league on American national television. Now that I think about it, I am sure the surprise was much greater for those sitting in a bar in Biloxi or Akron. Upon hearing this, I raced to my trusty computer, and googled good old Joe Horn. Sure enough, Joe Horn played in the CFL. In fact, he played for the Memphis Mad Dogs in 1995, racking up 71 catches for 1,414 yards. I will assume that by naming the CFL as his training ground that Joe had a more fruitful experience in Memphis than he did at Itawamba CC MS, a junior college which he attended for two years. Playing with Damon Allen will do that for a man, I guess. It seems to have worked out for Joe either way, as he has been a four-time Pro Bowl pick with the Saints, and appears now to be the voice of local pro athletes in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

***Update-Late Game***

There was an Ohio ripoff tonight by Roy Williams of Oklahoma. "Al Johnson from Wisconsin" had a nice ring. But the best one came from Clinton Portis and Santana Moss, who both said "The U" after their names. Bold, as if you should just KNOW, a priori, what school they were talking about. Of course they were speaking about the Miami Hurricanes. What I find fascinating is how quickly this stuff spreads to players on other teams. They are all in on the game. Sean Springs was almost laughing when he said "THE Ohio State University" tonight.


At 9:50 AM, Blogger Alex said...

The school itself uses the name "THE Ohio State University"

On the topic of Joe Horn, I'm digging his look these days; very early 1980s. It looks like David Robinson's copyright on the flat top hair and thin mustache has finally run out, and Joe's certainly taken advantage in style.


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