Sunday, January 15, 2006

Is Ditka Driving The Bus?


Everyone keeps raving about how good the Bears defence is. Fine. They are the number one D in the league. I get it. But no one seems to remember that the Panthers have the number three defence in the league. Or that they have the BEST-yes, you heard me, the BEST-defensive player in the NFL on their roster. A young monster named Julius Peppers. Is everyone just a closet Super Fan?

Bill Swerski: Alright, alright! Now, let me shift gears here for a moment. What is God's role in this? Obviously, he's rooting for Da Bears.

Pat Arnold: Otherwise, he wouldn't have put 'em in Chicago.

Carl Wollarski: That's right.

Bill Swerski: That's right. Da question is: Now, did God create Da Bears, and make them superior to all teams? Or is he simply a huge fan, and Ditka made them superior to all other teams?

Carl Wollarski: That's a tough one.

No, I don't know who "everyone" is. But I am 0-3 on my picks for the week. I need the Panthers to win this game.

This my favorite Super Fans skit, if only for the totally politically incorrect statement about 49ers fans at the end of it.

63 Comments:

At 2:36 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

The Joe Buck factor is now in effect. Why haven't they started putting that down in the "intangibles" breakdown before games?

 
At 2:45 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Can I just point out the CBS didn't show enough "Love Monkey" ads during the Steelers/Colts game. How can you not promote the hell out of a show starring Tom Cavanagh, Jason Preistley, Larenz Tate AND Eric Bogosian?

The Steelers, Broncos and Seahawks are through. Who would have ever called that a year ago?

 
At 2:47 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

YES!!! My boy Steve Smith! My prediction of 6 touchdowns for Smith is off to a good start.

 
At 2:50 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Lucas With The Lid Off and Mike Minter are totally underrated defensive players. I predict each gets 7 picks today.

Nice kick, buddy!

 
At 2:56 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Agreed wrt Love Monkeys. They need to emulate Fox's ad nauseum promotion of new shows during sporting events. I expect my fill of ads for 'Skating With Celebrites' over the next three hours.

Hey Grabia, I hope you didn't hurt anything jumping on the Panthers bandwagon.

 
At 3:03 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Please, you know Steve Smith is one of my favorites. I picked him in our fantasy draft the past two years. Don't try and turn me into Kimmis. I love my Eagles and my Titans. Neither of them are in the playoffs, though.

 
At 3:05 PM, Blogger Alex said...

You have quite the mancrush on Smith and Julius Peppers. Don't confuse your cheering for the Panthers with Kimmis' bandwagon jump at the expense of the Rams - as long as you qualify that you're cheering for the Panthers out of convenience (your favorite teams are gone) it's all good.

And is it just me or does Del Homme look like Vinny Testaverde's kid brother?

 
At 3:10 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Grossman's looking Kyle Orton-bad so far.

 
At 3:14 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

I must admit that I have liked the Panthers ever since their run to the Superbowl in 2003. Smith was sick that day, and Peppers reminds me of a young, injury free Jevon Kearse. But they aren't my favorite team. I am an Eagles and Titans guy through and through, even when they suck ass.

YES!!! Peppers touchdown!

 
At 3:14 PM, Blogger Alex said...

I think this play should stand, though if it's consistent with the officiating of this weekend then it will be overturned since Gage didn't make a "football move"

 
At 3:15 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

If they pull that stupid "no football move" bullshit I am gonna freak.

 
At 3:17 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Down by contact? Wow, didn't see that one coming.

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Bad call.

 
At 3:27 PM, Blogger Alex said...

The "jumpball goes the offense" rule has to be one of the dumbest rules in football. The defender has just as much right to go after the ball as the receiver. Why not just rule it an incompletion, or replay the down?

If Carolina gets a TD here, it's over.

 
At 3:28 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

That Smith catch is one of the craziest things I have ever seen. I was sure Tillman had it. I have never ever seen a play like that. Aikman is saying that a tie goes to the offence. I didn't even know that such a rule was in the books.

 
At 3:30 PM, Blogger Alex said...

I know it's easy to say in hindsight, but why didn't Tillman just knock the ball down instead of trying to go for the pick? If he makes the play, da Bears start inside their own five, if he bats it down, the Panthers punt and the Bears likely end up with better field position.

 
At 3:41 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

That should have been a horse-collar call on Tillman. I thought they were going to crack down on that?

 
At 3:41 PM, Blogger Alex said...

It should have been, just another example of the bad officiating.

And Urlacher just kept the Bears in this one. Of course, if they're offense doesn't get it together in a hurry it will all be moot.

 
At 3:42 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Damn Urlacher. If the Panthers had scored on that drive, the game would be over.

 
At 3:54 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Meh. Until their offense does something, they can create all the turnovers they want and it still won't matter.

I just want something to happen, this game is boring.

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Good point by Joe Buck about the Bears leaving Thomas Jones on the bench while they're in the red zone. Who is thisAdrian Peterson anyway? I could understand it if they had Oklahoma Adrian Peterson on their team, but this guy should not be in on the most important offensive series of the game.

 
At 4:04 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

It seems to be taking forever to get through this half.

Is it just me, or does it look like Grossman's eyebrows are pencilled in?

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger Alex said...

I was just about to type "Anything other than a QB sneak here would be foolish." Shows what I know.

Still, he barely got it. And is it just me or do running backs never leap over the pile anymore? That was always the highlight of a goal-line showdown.

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

I can't believe they went for that, actually. This game is waaaay closer than it should be.

 
At 4:13 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Carolina should be throwing the ball more. Smith hasn't been getting any touches.

Why the hell does Tank Johnson have his full name on his jersey.

See? Sweet dance by Smith to get the first down.

 
At 4:14 PM, Blogger Alex said...

For the same reason that Mike Anderson of the Broncos does. That is, there's no reason.

Speaking of names on a jersey, is He Hate Me still playing for Carolina?

The Bears should be doubling Smith every play. Let Kerry "Stephen" Colbert or that other guy who's the fastest man on the team try and beat them.

 
At 4:16 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Seriously, who does Rex Grossman's eyebrows?

Dammit, Carter had that. That should have been a flag.

 
At 4:18 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Ya, I saw He Hate Me on special teams earlier in the game.

Carolina should have called the timeout with 12 seconds left. Then they could have looked for the endzone once before kicking the field goal. That first blown timeout was costly.

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger Alex said...

The Field Goal is still huge, it wipes out Chicago's momentum heading to the half. The Bears defense dissapeared at the worst possible time.

 
At 4:27 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Good to see Peyton is blaming his offensive line for the loss. Good teammate my ass.

And what happened to Jimmy Johnson's immaculate haircut? He looks like Jonathan Lipnicki.

 
At 4:40 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

You have got to be kidding me. Grossman is looking like John Elway. Cmon Carolina.

 
At 4:48 PM, Blogger Alex said...

That hit on Foster didn't look pretty. If the Bears can keep Steven A. in check, the Panthers are going to be in a world of trouble.

Of course, that's a big if.

 
At 4:50 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

The loss of Foster is HUGE. I don't know if Goings can carry the weight.

 
At 5:03 PM, Blogger Alex said...

OK, maybe they should be putting triple-coverage on Smith.

 
At 5:07 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

HA! What the hell happened with that coverage? Awesome.

 
At 5:08 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Even though the DB fell, I can't believe they only had him in single coverage?

 
At 5:11 PM, Blogger Alex said...

And Joe Buck was absolutely right, how does Thompson end up covering Smith when Vasher and Tillman are on the field?

 
At 5:12 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

"They did a good job against the Giants. But I think if we can stop the run and make them a one-dimensional team and try to go to Steve Smith, you know that's going to be our game plan."

-Adewale Ogunleye

Apparently it was the Bears game plan. It has worked out well for them.

 
At 5:14 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

My God. The game has been on for 2 hours and 45 minutes, and we are only at the end of the 3rd quarter. I blame Fox, who run 4 minute commercial breaks every time the whistle blows.

 
At 5:21 PM, Blogger Alex said...

No kidding, I feel like we're watching the ALCS.

Somebody needs to enact Simmons' 2 1/2 hour rule into law.

 
At 5:22 PM, Blogger Alex said...

This is getting challenged and overturned.

 
At 5:23 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

You know, no one who is reading this after today will have any clue what the hell we are talking about.

 
At 5:24 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

A touchdown? Are you kidding me? That is a touchback.

 
At 5:24 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

How the hell did they EVER make that call in the first place? That isn't even close.

 
At 5:27 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Saved by a penalty. If they do anything but hand off to Thomas Jones they're crazy.

 
At 5:29 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

A costly face-mask penalty. That should have been Carolina's ball.

 
At 5:30 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

That is twice that the Bears have been lucky. They should be down by like 20 points.

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Nevermind. Now let's see if their defense can finally step up.

 
At 5:33 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Jesus. Could Fox take more commercial breaks? The commercial/kick-off/comemercial has to be the most annoying thing about the NFL. Since the league bosses the networks around anyways (see Playmakers) couldn't they make them eliminate some of these commercials?

 
At 5:38 PM, Blogger Alex said...

This defense looks terrible. I can't believe what's happening.

 
At 5:40 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

The miss by Kasay at the Bat could be huge. It's an 8 point game now.

 
At 5:41 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

The good news for the Bears is that the Panther's d has also fallen apart. And is Peppers gone?

 
At 5:41 PM, Blogger Alex said...

I'm not sure how bad he's hurt. The Bears need a TD on this drive. This game reminds me of the New England-Indy Monday Nighter. They have to keep going for 6 because their defense has proven to be completely incompetent today.

 
At 5:47 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Why did they run the ball on 3rd and 1? Why didn't they just pass it to Smith at the line and let him get a yard? It has worked all bloody night.

 
At 5:54 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Like with the Pittsburgh game, it's a case of the coach being too conservative, and not going with what's been working. Ironically, they both could have put the game away if not for their conservative playcalling.

Oops, as I was just typing that, Carolina picked Grossman off. One first down should finish this thing.

 
At 5:55 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Seriously, is Grossman a Vulcan? Those eyebrows scare the hell out of me.

 
At 5:55 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Another case of bad officiating! How did they not realize the playclock was at zero? This is becoming embarrassing. Even the NBA has better officiating.

 
At 5:55 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Lucas With The Lid Off!!! I called it.

 
At 5:56 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Awesome. Another missed call by the refs. How many bad calls is that this weekend. 10? 15?

 
At 5:58 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Another note on the officiating - I could at least understand where they were coming from if they were favoring the most marketable teams, like the NBA does. But this clearly is not happening. This officiating is just plain bad. I mean, unless this is someone's idea of a sick joke, I can't believe the NFL higher-ups would want a final four featuring Denver, Pittsburgh, Carolina, and Seattle. It's as marketable as a White Sox-Astros World Series.

 
At 6:02 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

Sandstorm! OMG. I am worried now.

 
At 6:06 PM, Blogger Andy Grabia said...

This game shouldn't have even been close. I can't believe it was still up in the air with a minute left.

 
At 6:08 PM, Blogger Alex said...

This was a long, excruciating game - as a viewer, that is. I can't believe I spent 3 1/2 hours watching it.

 

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