Monday, February 27, 2006

How Many Beckhams Does It Take To Do A Six Year Old's Homework?

Apparently model good looks and elite athleticism do come at a price: complete and utter stupidity. Real Madrid star and all around imbecile David Beckham apparently has had some difficulties when it comes to helping his six-year old son, Brooklyn, with his math homework. Rather than go into any detail about how egregiously ignorant this man must be, I will instead post the quote from a press-conference, which I found at this source:

"Their homework is so hard these days. It's totally done differently to what I was teached [sic] when I was at school. And you know, I was like, "Oh my God, I can't do this." [Shudder]

Upon reading this story, I felt compelled to research, or at least read the wikipedia article, and discover some more of Becks' exploits. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the herald of the faux-hawk is in fact a judge for the 2006 British Book Awards. Well he did manage to write his autobiography, so that must mean he knows a lot about books and whatnots. Just in case you were wondering as to whether David's better half, Posh Spice, happened to be the brain trust in the family, I will post the final paragraph from this article, just in case you haven't had a chance to read it above:

As opposed to her bookish husband, Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham told the Spanish magazine Chic in August that she had never read a book. 'I don't have the time,' she said. 'I prefer listening to music, although I do love fashion magazines.'

Wow? Really? Posh Spice doesn't have time to read books? That makes sooo much sense, considering her burgeoning music career, her lack of indentured servants to look after her every whim, struggling through a tough life with no husband to support her and her oddly named children...oh wait.

In any case, I've gotten off track with all of my latest Spice Girl news, and you've probably all written me off as some jaded, jealous fool (which is correct by the way). But as a sometimes fan of the sport, and as someone whose only team sport in high school was soccer, I feel somewhat frustrated by the antics of Beckham and every other whack job who has taken the pitch. Soccer is a sport that I want to like, but have a hard time doing so, given its justifiably poor reputation both in the USA and in Canada. I find it hard to fathom how anyone could be a fan of a sport known more for its hooligans than its stars. And why would anyone want to attend a sporting event where this could happen. Perhaps the illustrious resident "footy" expert Sheamus Murphy could shed some light on the situation for me. Until then I refuse to wear my hair in any type of hawk, faux or otherwise.


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